Babies Are Not Accessories

As I folded another bright yellow euro-trashy polyester tank top priced at eighty dollars I wondered how many rich ladies with babies would stroll into this store today. Stay at home mom shoppers seem to be the new epidemic at upscale malls today. Aside from foreigners and eccentric old ladies, these women make up most of the clientele that I see shopping. It seems that today's stay at home mom stays at home by carrying their babies around while they go shopping for slutty tops and dresses. The store I work at has regulars of this sort. Almost daily they come in with their young and I stand their awkwardly watching the children go crazy in the store while the mothers stand narcissistically in front of the mirrors deciding which dress makes their fake boobs look more noticeable. Do the fathers know what their wives are doing with their children's precious most important developmental years or do they not really care because their wives look hot in the new clothes they bought? Why aren't these children in nursery school? Or at least why aren't these mothers teaching their children valuable lessons about animal noises and colors? It's as if the children only represent an excuse for why these women shouldn't have to work, but instead can go each day to the mall to buy the sluttiest new Chanel mini skirt.
And as I watched this sad display of parenting yet again I wonder what the fuck am I doing here? I am spending my whole day catering to these rude women and supporting the disintegration of family values in America. Seriously, I need to get a new job or I will get fired for calling child protective services during my shift. Babies are not pets. You can't just take them for their daily walk and tie them to a tree while you go get videos at blockbuster. You have to actually teach them values, and not just the values of different brands of clothing.
Somebody tell me I'm insane because every once in a while I really look around and think 'what the fuck is everyone doing?!' Seriously. Everyone is caught up in the most ridiculous shit. Have you ever really taken a step back and thought about all the stupid meaningless shenanigans your brainpower goes to? Sometimes everything seems so silly and random. I mean we judge each other on our tastes in music, films, clothes, writers, etc., but these are all choices that have been given to us which we now use to judge other people. Everything you think about and everything you like was created by someone else and you are basing your judgements on yourself and others on which of the given choices you and these people choose. But you would never have created that song, or made that film or sewn those clothes to look the way they did so these things really have nothing to do with you, yet you describe yourself by naming these things as if they might give others some insight into your inner psyche. Well I guess I'm a Frank Zappa- Harold and Maude- Salvation Army type. Oh... wait... You like Journey? Oh, so your that type of person. Yeah, awkward.