He's Just Not That Into Your Awkwardness

Haha. Ok, I know the title. Lame. BUT, I just wanted to write a little post on the bloggitty about something that just happened to me. This person made it pretty obvious that I was boring him. Not only was he yawning, avoiding eye-contact, saying 'yes' to questions I hadn't asked him, he even actually said, "wow, I'm bored" and walked away. Does this happen to anyone else? Do you ever get so awkward that you actually cannot speak? What about this unnecessary list of things I've come up with to determine how awkward you are so I won't feel alone?:

1.) When you talk, do people have to ask "what" a lot...but in a kind of annoyed way, like 'what.' instead of 'what?!!?!'

2.) Do people laugh when you tell stories, but your stories aren't very funny? Like maybe you're talking about your best friend who has this serious meth problem and might die and the other person laughed--really inappropriately, mind you--right before you got to the part where you say that your friend actually did survive her overdoes and everything's ok now? (wait, did you laugh too?)

3.) Have you ever been asked a question right in the middle of saying something that has absolutely nothing to do with what you're talking about? Say for instance, you're upset about politics and the person you're talking at just asks you, "Do you like licorice? I mean, like good licorice?" (and despite your pride, do you answer?)

4.) Have you ever had to add unnecessary theatrics to a story or segment of something you're telling someone just to get their attention back? An example might be shouting REALLY LOUDLY something your co-worker never actually shouted, but you fear ignorance if you don't add emphasis? Do you use a lot of hand-gestures when telling the story so that even if people aren't listening, they can follow your hands, as if they were blind? Have you ever concocted a song out of events so that people will at least laugh because why are you singing (?) oh and they obviously aren't listening? (have you ever juggled random items from your coffe table to pique interest? Or better yet, done some sort of 'lighter-trick' that has actually resulted in a painful burn?)

5.) Have you ever lied to make what you're saying more interesting? Obviously your boss did not get naked and prance around the office after having a few too many drinks, but her blouse was misbuttoned and you've just taken off running with this story. Do you feel guilty after telling stories because so much of its false you fear you may be a pathological liar, but you just really wanted people to like you and your lie-story? (are you a pathological liar? would you answer that honestly?)

Congratulations. We're awkward. So awkward, that to normal people this translates as boring. If they only knew the dark confines of our minds... (that was an unintentional rhyme, but I'm not changing it.) RAR.