Things that are awkward to eat:
- Any kind of hamburger with more than one patty (dislocating jaw with each bite)
- Tacos (more taco on your plate than in your stomach)
- Falafels (refer to tacos)
- Burritos (true life: I have a friend who will only eat burritos when alone)
- Hot Dogs (abnormally phallic)
- Muffins (no crumb control)
- Pizza with extra cheese (or gigantic pieces)
- Asparagus (only because everyone's looking at you like they know your pee's gonna smell funny)
- Pomegranates (get a bib)
- Avocado (kind of looks like snot)
- Lychees (eyeballs)
- Ethipian food (wash your hands)
- Sushi (especially if you're like me and still have to request the children-spring-chopsticks)
- Corn on the Cob (break out the floss)
- Popsicles (everyone always has to make a comment)
- Ice Cream cones (Lolita)
- Fried Chicken (release your inner beast)
- Spare Ribs with extra BBQ sauce (finger-lickin good)
- Cherry Slurpees (Ozzy Osbourne mouth)
- Dippin Dots (little ice cream dots all over the floor that later turn into just ice cream spills and people always saying things like "Dippin DOTS! Ice Cream of the FUTURE!" Also, you're porbably at Disney World, enough said.)
- Spinach salad (get a knife to cut off weird long leaf stems)
- Doughnuts (skinny or large, everyone will look at you like you're a fatass)
- Beef Jerkey (dog treat? also, smells like hamster cage)
- Peanut Butter (especially from spoon while you hold your saliva-coated PB in front of your face.)
- Banana (phallic AND makes a mush-sound that sort of sounds like sex)
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