Awkward, Annoying Habits!!! (Like Exclamation Points In Headlines)

Of course, this list is infinite, but here are some of the top offenders:

• Making a sound when you yawn (What's up with this? Like a sneeze, does this require an "I'm sorry you're tired?" Are you bored? Seeking attention? Also, makes awkward silences way more awkward.)
• Sucking your teeth (Not only is this loud and pretty gross, it usually warrants an offering of a toothpick or that person who carries floss in their bag to throw the box at you. It's just the sound, that loud sucking sound, what is that--are you calling your dog or trying to whistle at a chick on the bus? Gross, stop.)
• Picking your split ends (Awkward because the person cannot comprehend that once you pick your split ends, you're left with little hairs all over the place. Also, driving with split-end pickers is the worst as you will commonly miss green lights, swerve into traffic, get annoyed at their cross-eyed face and precise little fingers)
• Cracking anything (Whether it be your jaw or your knuckles or your face, cracking body parts is jarring and disturbing. The worst is when a person proceeds to crack every inch of their body in a quiet setting. Back cracking at the bank is scary.)
• Whistling (Unless you're a serial-killer or a pedophile, whistling really freaks people the fuck out. Especially if you're whistling "Time" or the theme song from the children of the corn. Even if you're a professional whistler, keep it to a minimum lest you wish to scare the rest of the subway car. Unless of course, you want to remind people of that creepy old guy from the Poltergeist.)
• Clearing your throat (This usually comes after saying something that you may think had been a completely awkward statement. But this classic move of insecurity also signals, "Wait! I have something important to say!" But when you don't and you just sit there, people look at you...waiting....waiting...and then they just assume you've got a really bad sinus infection and are swamped down with mucus and to top that off you're an idiot because you could have said something important or witty or funny, but no, no you're just insecure and contagious.)
• Picking your feet (This sound really gross, but I have come across a surprisingly large amount of people who will simply pick their feet anywhere--at a movie, on my couch, in my car, on the bus. This move is especially frequent among those all-season-flip-flop-wearers who sport pretty wicked callouses and rough skin they must pick off right now, on your new carpet, sprinkling their foot-dust like Tinkerbell's smelly, degenerate cousin.)
• Snarking (If you aren't familiar with this term, it basically means being a pretentious jackass. You casually mention this new book you're reading, Jamestown (which is REALLY fucking good) and the next, that irritating Snarker has not only interrupted your conversation, but has begun giving a dissertation on his or her opinion about the book, the quality of literature today and the Masters he just obtained in experimental fiction. Wow, asshole no one cares. But you look at him and he does, with that smug little grin, he does. Now there you sit, belittled and resentful, mired in the Snarker's arrogant intelligence.)

Got any others? Sure you do, fill us in. Comment or e-mail us at onwardawkward@gmail.com.