I know I'm crazy but do you?

I am at a dance party. I smoke a cigarette and watch him from the corner where everyone's bags are. As he starts walking towards me I can feel perspiration forming in my armpits, my palms are moist, my hands tremble. If we shake hands he will know I'm weak and nervous. He asks me a question and my mouth dries up while I answer him. White foam begins to form around the corners of my mouth. I can no longer speak, my cotton mouth makes me sound like an asshole. So I just inhale the fumes from my cigarette and hope this makes me look cool enough for him to forget that white spit is accumulating around my face. I am not a baby or a rabid dog, I am just so awkward that my body creates awkwardness with out the aid of my brain. I don't even have to worry about saying something weird because embarrassing things are happening to my body before I even open my mouth. A hot girl in a short skirt walks by and bends over to pick up her bag. I can draw a direct line from his eyes to her buttocks. She then proceeds to the dance floor where all the confident girls gyrate against each other with the exception of one girl who looks like she's having a seizure. All of a sudden he decides that he wants to dance even though he was just talking to me about how he doesn't like these sorts of gatherings because he hates dancing. I drink some water and try to look like I'm standing by myself because I'm too cool to socialize.