Differentiating Awkward from Mockward

So we've had more than a couple people ask us; "well which is better? Awkward or Mockward? And what the hell's the difference"? For clarification purposes, we've decided to explain these surprisingly vague terms. Ok, awkward can be good or bad. I mean, usually it's bad. Rollerblading is awkward. If you are a rollerblader, chances are you aren't the coolest guy on the block--and if you are, good for you because you must have some really great qualities to cancel-out the whole rollerbading bit. But mockward would be like wearing old-school 70s roller skates to a party pumping Elvis Costello (no pun intended) and serving PBR tallboys. So in terms of cool, mockward's where it's at. However, mockward can also be irritating and annoying, like what's her face from Juno or that horrible folk Kimya Dawson soundtrack that came with it. Awkward would be being an actual pregnant teen walking around an actual high school without having any actual emotions about it listening to actual Joann Newsom folk music. I think the lesson to be learned here is that like life, your relation to the awkward/mockward lists should be relatively balanced. If it's all on the mockward side, whatever: You're a wannabe with a sick Urban Outfitters wardrobe and maybe you really like Death Cab. But dare, you faux-weirdo you, to take a longer walk on the awkward side of life--the mountain man look might just suit that new tight, French-cuffed flannel shirt you copped over at Fred Segal's. And if it's all on the awkward side, I'm calling the cops. Awk-on.