Breaking News, shitting in a CO OP is really fucking awkward

Yes, it is 1:37 AM and I am sitting in the lounge of Truth, this Cooperative living house I reside in. It's kinda like applied socialism so you'd expect us all to be hippies and everything should just be chill, dude. Well, it's not. I haven't "gone to the bathroom" in about a week now. Communal living means communal restrooms and I know that most of the guys that live here have never heard a girl take a shit and I'm not about to be the one to give them that sick dose of reality. So I'm sitting here trying to decide which of the two private bathrooms to use. There's the one that exists right out in the entrance hallway, but this, my friend, is it's main flaw. For, when I make my grand exit everyone will be able to tell that I just shat, which defeats the purpose if you are trying to poop ninja-style. Then there's the bathroom in the basement. I would have already used this bathroom but there is this bulimic girl in our house who sort of unoffically claimed it. Every time you walk down there you can find last nights leftovers, or maybe some regurgitated cereal in the trash bin. Either way, it makes me feel like I'm shitting in the bathroom of a dingy, disgusting pub for alcoholics.

It doesn't matter, I can hold on for one more day. But seriously, home is where you can sit down to take a shit with out being judged. And the people that live here do a lot of that. There's also this really awkward Co-Op bathroom culture which I refuse to be a part of. I noticed it when I went to pee and happened across a fellow shitter in the middle of his business. I know this because the bathroom smelled and the person in the stall next to me became completely silent. It seems that if you are going to go "number 2" you hold off if someone else comes into the bathroom, even if you are in the middle of it. You wait for them to leave and then you continue. The consideration on the part of the pooper is returned by their stall-mate who will leave and not try to find out who was shitting next to them. Therefore everyone can poop in anonymity. Well, I refuse to be a part of this because I know that if this situation happened to me I would end up with that nosy kid who would wait outside to see who the pooper was, just out of sheer curiousity. When they discover my secret identity our relationship will be changed forever. It will be weeks before we could even make eye contact. Therefore I will continue to wait until tomorrow when I can use a public restroom in a place where nobody knows me.