I'm sorry but you really need to clean up that poop

Parks rules. I'm at home in New York City just kicking back and enjoying the silly trends and past times that this city offers. If you're a dog owner in New York you have probably heard of the dog parks, which are everywhere. They're similar to those places for human children, but used by the dogs of rich and childless workaholics in order for them to feel like parents but with out the extreme full time commitment. They're not actually playgrounds, but fields of dirt enclosed by fences because dogs don't understand invisible boundary lines.

So here I am, walking dogs for rich old ladies (it's good pay) and putting myself in the most awkward of situations. I mean, we all try to be these civilized people, wearing respectable clothes and bringing our dogs to this park to feel like we're a part of something special. Only a minute later, we're bending over to pick up our dog's shit with our hands which are only protected by a plastic bag. How dignified is that? I bet parents at the playground a block away don't have to apologize because their kid won't stop humping another kid in the middle of the park. But in the dog park everyone laughs. It's just animal nature they say. I sit next to a stranger and we both comment on how well our dogs seem to be getting along as they sniff and lick each other's nut sacks. A woman in the corner yells at her dog because he keeps eating another dogs' shit. Alas, a fight breaks out among the humans because one woman's dog took a dump and she hasn't cleaned it up. She claims she didn't notice it, but I think she did.